I’ve been in an incredibly tense situation lately.  I moved to Florida about 2 months ago and I have been getting along quite well.  The one glitch in my life plan is that I am being cyber-bullied.  This may sound sad and a bit boring to you but the following facts may make the issue clear and perhaps more interesting.

1. I do not own a computer

2. I cannot afford Text Messaging

3. I am already dealing with 2 other real life bullies

4. I look strikingly similar to Ted Kysinski (probably spelled wrong) and I feel my appearance and lack of public speech should warrant fear in adolescents.

Unfortunately the sad fact remains that I have been harassed.  Daily, as I walk to the store for regular sized connies and bootleg albums, two neighborhood youths have been extending their arms, in pistol fashion and shooting invisible laser beams in my direction.  I, of course, have ducked and dodged these beams with prowess, but I fear that one day soon the bullies’ increasing agility and speed, coupled with my deteriorating physical parabola, will eventually lead to my death.

Will it hurt when this cyber bullet shoots me?  You have a website and therefore you should have an answer.

Thank you,

Steven Luhtarte

-I have also emailed you an invisible laser bullet for bollistics testing in the hope that it will help.

As is usually the case at The Shank, there wasn’t much in the way of a staff inside the venue; just a few people at the door, a couple harried bartenders, and a sound crew.  The place has a reputation as a late-late-night gathering spot where you can drink after the bars close, smoke inside, step in pee, and get your purse stolen.

If you’ve been here before, the shit-show awaiting you when coming to see bands play is part of the place’s appeal.  If it’s the first time, you’re probably bummed that you came wearing that pair of old Vans with holes in the bottoms. There is almost nowhere to sit and few places that afford standing room on dry ground.

The bathroom situation here is usually only a little fucked but on Saturday night the building’s plumbing was almost totally non-functional and two Port-A-Potty’s had to be delivered, last minute. These bathrooms proved insufficient to cater to the needs of hundreds of beer-drinking concert goers who showed up and all became trapped inside after “no re-entry” took effect at midnight. Trash-cans, dark corners, cups, beer-bottles, and the walls became impromptu toilets and soon giant puddles of piss and filth were spreading out across the floor.

People packed in around the short stage as Fergus & Geronimo began to play.  A few songs in and the crowd was already beginning to thrash, random people near the stage flailed and threw themselves into anyone standing nearby. Their was a high level of energy in evidence as the openers worked through their set. By the time K Holes took the stage people were taking things to the next level. An older man, running around in the crowd, kept fighting his way to the the stage, sticking his hand down his throat, in an attempt to puke right in front of the band.

Cerebral Ballzy came on next and things started getting crazy. Ryan McGinley, appeared onstage and filmed the band as they went all out, like they pretty much always do. There was a lot of climbing on things and jumping off stuff. The singer mooned the crowd as cords kept coming undone, amps and microphones cracking on and off. In the middle of the set, a monitor stand snapped causing a panicked scramble among the sound guys and audience members standing near the listing speaker.

There was a short lull as the Black Lips’s equipment was moved into place and orange steel barricades were deployed around the sound booth, that  directly to stage-left, had become overrun during Ballzy’s set. The band took the stage and got into it without too much delay. They started off slow with the first song. The crowd swayed and pressed into one another, more than ready to unleash a late-night, booze-fueled, rage that would shake the walls.

And then it came. The band stormed through M.I.A. and Katrina and other uptempo stompers, one after another, with little pause in between. The Shank exploded. Moshing and cuowdsurfing, screaming, people falling down at the foot of the stage while others got pushed up onto it, sometimes falling into the band. Girls were fighting their way onstage to smooch the performers mid-song, pulling them and falling offstage with locked lips.

One girl, squatting on the front of the stage, pulled down her pants and began to pee through her panties. A guy in front of her took notice and when she was finished they started making out, a few moments later he was finger-banging her right there on the stage. No one else seemed to notice except a filmer who gave her a high five when he saw what was going on.

After a handful-more of songs the band was mobbed. People clamored all over the stage, in front, in back, on the sides. There was no security, nothing to hold back the crowd driven mad by the music and drunk on chaos. The band tried to go on but it became clear that conditions had deteriorated so thoroughly that the only way to kill the beast was to pull the plug. The Black Lips ended their set abruptly and were hurried off the stage leaving a dazed, sweat-soaked throng to process what had just happened.

-Dan Zev

The Black Lips

Cerebral Ballzy and Fergus & Geronimo

+ Late Night Dj Sets

Get ready for another night of mad fun with your favorite bad kids at the Shank!

GET YOUR TICKETS BEFORE THEY’RE OUT!!!

Where: THE SHANK 98 BAYARD BROOKLYN

Time:10:00PM Saturday, November 6th

Come out for a night of wigged fun, alcohol drenched familiar faces and raw music. Bands include nothing but the rawest, such as Jackie Chain, Pujol, Turbo Fruits and Heavy Cream. Not forgetting it is all in celebration of Julian and Mike’s Birthday. Get your wigs ready for a night of eccentricity and disguised fun.

October 23^rd, 2010

8PM $7 or W/Wig $5

@ The Shank

Viral web prank or shameless self-promoting, M.I.A posted on her Twitter what seems to be a link to a new song. What we guess to be called “Bedroom to the Hallway to the Road to the World” is a psychedelic hip-hop gem. Diplo shortly after lashed out on his Twitter page in response to the posted link. “M.I.A. please stop leaking the songs you didn’t pay me for,” he reportedly wrote. Official or not, it is a M.I.A staple. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, we’ll leave for you to decide. Check it here!

The members of the growlers could be any one of old dirty bastard’s illegitimate children. they are hallucinogen personified, and could potentially be responsible for ending racism forever, at best they’ll be able to cure Klinefelter’s syndrome. we spoke with their lead singer brooks who had more charisma than Charlie Manson;

Can you give us a concise history of los growlers?
+ well were all from Dana point, we sort of knew each other but didn’t always hangout. But we started getting into the same music around the same time. Matt and i started writing songs and we had a simple idea in mind ‘lets move to long beach, make music and try to get away from people, we can take whoever wants to come with us.’ So the 4 of us took off and started writing songs.

What kind of music were you into at that time?
+ mostly 70s rock n roll and punk, also grateful dead. Matt and Brian were into straight edge for awhile- they listened to hardcore music before that got out of hand. but eventually we got into that same music and started playing together.

How old were you guys?
+ {woah that chick has her tits hanging out, and she’s on roller blades (he returns to us)}. Uh we were like 20 or 21. I wasn’t seriously into music, but I’d listen to it enough and got into singing. I’d just sit around and get drunk with friends and freestyle rap. one of the guys who we hung out with started playing guitar and doing sloppy recordings and we’d listen to it and thought it was pretty funny. We figured we could do this so Matt started playing guitar and i’d sing with him and we were like ’shit let’s start a band’.

You have that same ‘bent sound’ aesthetic during live shows as you have on the album, how did you perfect that?
+ just practicing and playing with each other all the time, i was actually just talking to kyle about it the other day- it’s different i’m not playing an instrument, just singing, so there’s a couple seconds of focus here and there but honestly i just try not to think about it. Kyle was saying that he relies solely on muscle memory, and he just learned the songs, he was the last addition to the band. He also said that if he thinks about it he doesn’t fucking know what the fuck the song is. I guess they play it so much their fingers just do it, which makes sense. For us it’s just about playing a lot, and it seems to work itself out as long as we don’t think too much. None of us have played music all of our lives, a lot of these people do. So when we started we sucked, we called ourselves The Growlers cause we were shitty and growler is a term for taking a shit. So when we first started playing live we were super sloppy so we’d just get wasted to makeup for it. But the more we play we don’t get to do that as much.

Where did you get all the analogue recording gear?
+ we always had old tape recordings so that’s what kind of sound we wanted to have. Some friends recorded us at first onto a computer because they went to school to learn how to do it or something, and it just wasn’t cool so we just recorded onto tape. But all the banter over the topic gets annoying sometimes, i don’t really find a lot of importance in equipment we don’t really think much of it. since there was a choice we just decided to try and record ourselves, buy old tape machines and do something cooler than just clicking on protools. Some people are like uh tape this and that, but i really dont hear the difference, its like the people that say vinyl sounds so much better. Yeah i like the crackle but its not like it sounds any clearer on record, my record player is so shitty its sounds terrible. I really don’t see any debate, people start talking about gear and i just want to fucking bail as soon as i can. Someone will ask me about a tape machine and I’m like i don’t know it barely fucking works, whats the difference? But our bassist scott is definitely a mad scientist when it comes to that kind of shit. When we had the idea to record on our own he went out and started buying all the shit and really made it happen.

Does LA actually exist?
+ Hah, we don’t really make it up there that often, once you’re away from the beach for too long you start to get anxiety and freak out, you wake up in cold sweats. There’s a lot of cool shit up there and you have to kind of know what you’re doing and we don’t really know what were doing so when we go up there were like tourists- {uhs}- play a club? weird.  were pretty much up there just to play shows.

You guys played a show on the beach, how was that?
+yea in Laguna, it was a pain in the ass. We had a friend who was supposed to let us use his driveway to get down there and he bailed last minute so we had to bring gear down like 200 stairs and then walk it across like a quarter mile of beach. But we still had a blast, got drunk and played on the beach and the cops didn’t come till after the fact so it worked out.

We’ve gathered that pretty much everyone in the band surfs, what shapes do you like to ride?
+ yeah everyone in the band surfs for the most part. Our drummer brian sometimes says he can’t but he’s lying. I surf whatever i have and whatever isn’t broken. I have this one thick ugly weird board that has a fish tail with a big ugly single fin it’s 5’6” and super heavy. I surf it on any wave, when its overhead or really small. when its big i fall on it a lot. That’s pretty much the only board i have that works right now. we have a big collection of broken boards. I’m actually headed to the beach right now and i packed a boogie board, my roommate made fun of me but i fucking love boogie boarding.

Does your dick fall out of your shorts when you boogie?
+ Usually i just drag my dick off the back and it creates a wake.

How did you meet al knost, robbie kegel, tyler warren and all those guys?
+ I’ve known them for awhile- when i was young i was a body-boarder at Salt Creek and I would never go up to Newport. i’d only be in Laguna, Salt Creek, or Strands. But when we started making music i met Alex when he was playing with the Japanese Motors, we played with them and shit, then I met their whole surf crew. I grew up with jocky ‘ill kick your ass’ fucking surfers’ you know? and they’re all tweakers and junkies now so its pretty funny, but when i met those guys i was like shit they don’t want to kick my ass. They are mellow and they’re always making cool shit, shaping boards, oding artwork. They’re crazy in a really creative way, i was stoked to meet all those guys.

How often do you go on vision quests with robbie kegel?
+ (laughs) uh i don’t know if i should anymore. with robbie i can never tell until he starts to freak out, he’ll be like ‘oh shit’ and/or ‘fuck’ and i’m just like are you doing acid or something? Alright. You just hand it to him and he takes it real quick, then hes like ‘ok everybody lets all fucking take it.’

A good friend of ours- Rhett Boyd, who runs Rogue Wave Surf Shop distributes robbie’s boards on the east coast and he says its always really difficult to talk to him on the phone because he’s so crazy?
+ (laughs) yeah with robby you’ve got a straight up orphan story; he’s really creative and completely out of his mind, but he always gets his shit done. It’s a good balance, plus he’s a really good looking dood so he is all over the place- chicks, traveling, making shit, getting his ass kicked all the time. Its so fucking funny he always starts fights when he’s out at a bar or something but he’s definitely not the best fighter, and usually drunk so he just kind of wiggles and flails his arms about.

Who makes all the props and costumes?
+ I’m a major hoarder- we live in a warehouse that’s completely full of shit so we kind of just grab weird items to take the shows before we leave. There’s six of us living in the warehouse plus our girlfriends so they’re always making shit, painting shit, selling shit. its just like a big retarded arts and crafts thing all the time

You record in the warehouse too?
+ yea we have all the rooms and beds and kitchen upstairs then downstairs we have a stage area and a bar so its kind of like a music venue and we also have a control room for mixing.

How many people live in the warehouse?
+ There’s six dudes, two cats, a dog, a turtle, and everyone’s girlfriends who are always there.

Where is it?
+ In costa mesa in a sort of industrial place, about 5 or 10 minutes from the beach

What are some of your favorite local bands?
+ Down the street is Levi Prairie he’s in a really good band called Gantez Warrior. Super talented young man, really good surfer, his older brother Tanner heads up Tanner Surfboards and he’s making some really awesome boards right now. There’s a good punk band named Tremors, uh Tomorrow’s Tulips- al knost’s second band after Japanese Motors, My Pet Saddle and Audacity are really good, they’re from the Fullerton area. There’s a bunch of good shit in the lo-fi punk world. But people do weird shit with country and don’t really pull it off right

Do you guys have day jobs back home?
+ I worked a day job for 10 years and got laid off so i’m currently on unemployment but also working construction under the table with the neighbor. The other guys have full-time jobs working at an art gallery- they sit there all day jerking off and get paid well

alright were going to give you a series of and go’s, like james lipton.

Beach babes; and go-
+ binoculars, yeah shit, its tough on me staring all day and what not, i feel like an old scab. I almost have to avoid them. In Newport i don’t see much of it, but in Laguna  there are babes all over the fucking place. with real buff guys with no hair on their bodies that like to wrestle and throw footballs.

Petty theft; and go-
+ were making our 15 bucks a day on tour and it doesn’t really cut it, especially when you spend it all on beer. Sometimes you come back to the van with some goodies. there’s a lot of bogarting going on so someone will snag something one day and the next they’ll be like ‘hey man we gotta stop doing that.’ Or sometimes we’ll go into a thrift store and walk out with like 50 pieces of clothing wrapped around our bodies. Get a bunch of sweet gear.

Cactus farming; and go-
+ (laughs) we just tried to pull that off again. We got a san pedro cactus, cut it up into ninja stars, blended it, boiled it, strained it, drank it, threw up, didn’t get high. right after I was like fuck dood my stomach is horrible, pull over. and we had one batch that we thought was good but we spilt it in the van, it was gross.

King pins; and go-
+ Brian Stewart; our drummer.

The Growlers new album Hot Tropics will be released on October12th. Buy it. It feels better than the best poop you’ve have ever taken.

.jordan blumetti and will tunstall’s other work can be found at www.cocopr.tumblr.com

Sure, it did rain a lot this past Sunday, but that didn’t stop Telephone, The Suzan, Kid Sister, and Chromeo from putting on an amazing show!! Even us photogs got down in the pit. The Suzan, an all girl alternative group from Japan, made the stage look colorful and adorable.  The crowd waved their hands in the air and waved them like nobody cared when Kid Sister performed,  but it was Chromeo that killed the show with their electric tunes and their lovely backup ladies!  The crowd went wild and started a dance party — even umbrellas joined the fun.

At the end of the day, girls and boys were still soaking wet, but there were many smiles.  It was an awesome Sunday, and we’d love to see you there next week!!